For years I heard about personality tests and quizzes that would help to “figure out” who you really were. I mean since I was a teenager I remember begging my Mom to get me the newest magazine near the check out at the grocery store. I think over the years I pretty much took every quiz/test (and read every one of my horoscopes) trying to “figure out” who I was and how I worked.
I will be honest and say I have no clue who introduced me to this “secret” love assessment, but I remember immediately thinking WOW! Like for all these years I was trying to parent a certain way and maintain a marriage based on what I “thought” were the right things to do. I swear this was like a BIG wake up call and an instant sign of relief!!
The 5 Love Languages are an “assessment” created by Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars, that really dives into what makes others tick, how they think, what they want and how YOU can be aware of that to improve your relationship with that person. On the flip side it is GREAT because you get to not only figure out “who” these other people really are/want/need, but you also get to do the same for yourself.
I really loved seeing what I was like and I have to say that it was spot on to how I viewed myself and my relationships. My mind was blown when I saw how accurate it was not only for me, but especially for my son. I can truly say that it has improved my marriage, my parenting and also my relationships with others. I now tell everyone I can about it – including my sons teachers. What better way to “help” children as best as you can than by knowing how they really are?! I can only imagine that it would be an asset in the classroom since each child is unique and “needs” different attention, love and has varied interests.
Gary Chapman has a variety of books around this concept – marriage, children (both younger and teenagers), singles, military, a gift edition, one specifically for men and so on. I highly recommend picking up a copy based on your interest, but until then feel free to check out the 5 Love Languages chart (for couples) that I have included here for an idea of how each is broken down:
To go along with this awesome chart there are also specific quizzes that you are able to take to get the basics on “who” you are and “what” the other people in your life are like. Unlike all those tests in the magazines I feel like these actually helped me understand myself better and how to best create the relationships around me.
I could go on and on about this LOVE secret, but I think it is great to explore on your own. I recommend taking the time to check out Gary’s book, but also to explore his site. It is filled with amazing resources and I truly think that you will be opened to the idea that your relationships CAN improve. Even if you are blessed with amazing ones already, there is nothing wrong with improving things and always striving to be better.
If you end up taking any quizzes, reading a book or browsing through the resources please let me know. I would love to chat more with you about your thoughts, reactions and plans to enhance all the relationships you have.